Insufferables

I'm insufferably proud of myself.

Okay, I love cookies.

No, I lurve cookies. (Annie Hall reference -- I'm so ashamed.)

And I like making them even more than eating them. I love the whole potion-like chemistry of them, of the way they're almost impossible to ruin unless you overcook them. I love that -- like a vinaigrette -- they're a mix of a few staple ingredients with a million variations. I love that when they're done they are so easy to share, unlike cakes and pies. I love that people smile when you give them a cookie (except for people I don't want to get to know).

But as with so many times in affairs of the heart, I had a lost love.

I was a junior in high school. A girl (pretty, blonde, popular) in my chemistry class made this batch of incredible cookies. I ate one and went into instant cookiegasm. I asked her to bring me a copy of the recipe, and she said she would, but she never did.

I also have a memory of seeing the cookies on the cover of one of those magazines at the checkout line -- Woman's Day, probably. But I didn't have the money to buy it, and thought I could find it later.

And then, for decades, I've been looking for that cookie recipe. Not constantly, of course, but it's been there, lurking.

It was sort of a sugar cookie, but thick, and nicely cut out as a star, and frosted.

I make a good sugar cookie (courtesy of Fannie Farmer), but to make the dough so you can cut it with cookie cutters you have to add a TON of flour, which kills the taste and texture. The cookie from chemistry class girl was moist, and flaky. And yummy.

A couple weeks ago, I saw something about making cookies with sweetened condensed milk. Wow, I thought. That might be the key! So I found some SCM cookie recipes online, bought the stuff, and made them.

They were...okay. But they were not the ubercookie I was looking for.

So I said to myself, "Julia. You've been making cookies for 30 years. What do you think was in those cookies??"

So I fooled around with a few batches and adjusted and experimented and...

VOILA!

I don't know that these are exactly the same cookies, but they're close enough! I've now made two big batches (including pathetic attempts at frosting), and my butt is about three inches bigger and I may go into a sugar coma at any minute.

In other words, it's Cookie Heaven.

And I was thinking about what to name my original cookie recipes (for which I will have pictures as soon as they stop looking like a three-year-old fingerpainted the frosting on them). A friend suggested "Surprise Cookies" and I was thinking about "Sugar and Sugar" cookies.

But considering how full of myself I've been these last few days (and how full of cookies), I think I might call them Insufferables.